If you grew up in the evangelical church, you may have heard the joke that preachers learned to preach "3 points and a poem," and though that's an exaggeration, it's not too far from the truth. When I think of sermons from my childhood, I think of the preacher taking a few Bible verses, gleaning a few theological truths or life applications from those verses (or imposing such truths on the verses), and gussying it up with a few cute stories (and maybe a poem). And for added pizzazz, the three points will all begin with the same letter!
But what I remember from my childhood church-going is not the theological truth points imparted to me, but the stories I heard. Not sermon illustration stories, but the stories I heard over and over and over again. The stories of Old Testament heroes, the stories of Jesus' parables, the stories of God's amazing miracles, the stories of people living out their faith (or not). And though each of these stories could teach me some certain theological truth or life application, and probably my teachers told me such things, I don't remember those. What I remember is the wonder I felt at three friends dancing in a fire...how much fun would that be! What I remember is the long, winding journey of Joseph the Dreamer's life. What I remember is the young girl who said yes to an angel. What I remember is fish and bread, a son who ran away, a woman at a well, a man on a cross.
What I remember can't be summed up in bullet points. It can hardly even be spoken of with words. What I remember is a lifetime of learning a Big, Beautiful Story that is now such a part of me, I wouldn't know how to get it out even if I wanted to. It's a Story that shapes me. It's not a Story I completely understand, but it's a story that whispers to me of purpose and hope, sadness and joy, struggle and peace, life and love. It's a Story that speaks to me in all of life's moments when I'm quiet enough to listen.
This Story is the One I want to pass on to my children, only the Story for them will whisper in different ways and lead them different places. That's the beauty of Story...there is no one right answer or direction. No set of definitive bullet points. It is not hard and fast, unchangeable. Story is powerful because it breathes and has life. It weaves in and out in a back and forth relationship with the hearer. It speaks in different ways to different people. While the story of Joseph the Dreamer might speak to me about strength of character and integrity, it might speak to you of the consistency of God's presence in the midst of treachery. The story is not the same for both of us, but it still speaks to both of us, as we engage with it and live into in where we are.
Much of our Christian education, however, often boils down to a set of behavioral prescriptors or theological beliefs we wish for our children to follow/believe.
We tell our children what the point of the story is.
Jesus fed the 5000...that means Jesus provides for our needs, children.
Jesus healed the 10 lepers...that means we need to thank God for our healing, children.
Jesus washed the disciples' feet...that means we need to serve others, children.
Jesus died on the cross...that means our sins are covered over, children.
None of these lessons is bad, but when we tell our children what the story means, they have no need to enter into the story themselves. When we tell them what it means, they hear only what we tell them. But these stories can mean so many things.
I believe that the stories are better teachers than me.
I believe The Story is The Teacher, and my job is as facilitator.
My job is to help my children see themselves in The Story. My job is to help them ask questions of The Story. My job is to help them embrace the mystery of The Story. My job is to to help them interact with The Story so that they will learn to do it without my prompting. And my job is to continue to engage with The Story myself, learning with them rather than for them.
This is harder than it sounds, though. Sometimes I really, really want to give them the right answer, my right answer!
At home, we are currently experimenting with an open-ended, story-based faith curriculum called Godly Play. It's teaching me about how much I want to impose my own understanding onto theirs, but it's also helping me to live into The Story with my children and let go of my desire to control their experience.
We will share more about our new experience with Godly Play in the upcoming days, but for now...
What are your favorite stories? What stories do you share over and over and over with your children? And what stories do you seek over and over and over yourself?
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